Broken
by HugAZombie
Summary: Seimei. It’s a name that is poison on your tongue.' Song Fic. Not my best.


_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Loveless, dammit. *Sobs*. It belongs to Yun Kougu. The Lyrics belong to LifeHouse and their song 'Broken.'_

_**Notes: **__Could be read as slash. Or just friendship, both violent and/or tender and genuine. Pick where appropriate. _

_**Media:**__ Both. _

_**Spoilers: **__None I think... correct me if I am wrong lol. _

_**Characters:**__ Soubi Agastuma, Seimei and Ritsuka Aoyagi _

* * *

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

Seimei. It's a name that is poison on your tongue. He is poison. He has infected your blood. He degraded you in the past. He laughed at you. Humiliation was the name of the game you, you perpetually lost; fell to your knees at his command time and time again. Where is the shame? Where is the pride? Gone is the only answer, stripped away until you are left with nothing. Until that name became your only shame, your only pride. He stripped bare your soul, stripped bare yourself until you were _nothing_ without him.

He made you need him. And you allowed him.

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain, there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you_

Ritsuka. It's a name that is sugar on your tongue. He is an antidote. With each soft spoken word, with each childish rage, he somehow soothes the old wounds. With Seimei, you were commanded to bleed for him. For Ritsuka, you do it without that order. Your throat, once claimed by Aoyagi the elder with razors and pain, now bleeds in protestation but you ignore it for him. You fight for him. It had begun as a command, of course. Even in death Seimei rules your life. But it has morphed into something else now hasn't it? It goes beyond the senseless painful master and slave relationship you shared with Seimei, doesn't it? Because Ritsuka would never hurt you, he would never degrade you or humiliate you. He cares for you.

He made you need him. And you welcomed it.

_The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead  
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life_

Beloved. A beautiful name that speaks a twisted truth. Seimei was loved. Loved by you. Loved by Ritsuka. Loved by his friends. He was a different person with them; he was the person you loved. And it was because of his image that you allowed his sadistic tendencies to dance blood across your skin, wasn't it? You had been trained to bear pain, you became conditioned to loathe it, but you still allowed him to mark you so violently. You were broken when you met him, and you were shattered further in his hands.

Seimei died. And you mourned for him.

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
with a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing  
In your name (in your name) I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')  
I'm barely holdin' on to you  
_

Loveless. A cruel name that speaks a twisted half-truth. Ritsuka is hated. Hated by his mother. Hated by his class. Hated by himself. He is a different person from the one he was two years ago. But that doesn't matter to you does it? You never knew him then, you know him now and it is the strong, independent boy that stands in front of you now that you love. Never has a name been so wrong in so many different ways, so unsuited. Because Ritsuka is loved. Loved by you. Loved by Yuiko. He is so different to his brother. So sweet, and kind. He has his moments; he banishes you from his sight so easily. But he always calls you back, he always soothes your fears, determined to bring you no pain. It's been so long since someone cared for you like this, too long. You had almost forgotten what affection, pure and sweet, was like – then you met him.

Ritsuka lives. And you smile for him.

_I'm hangin' on another day  
Just to see what you throw my way  
And I'm hanging on to the words you say  
You said that I will be OK_  
_The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home_

Home is where the heart is. And home is Ritsuka.


End file.
